Ugh

[moon_custafer]

Emailed my mom because I finally admitted to myself I need to ask for money again, the third time in the past decade. Painted out that we don’t own a car, we don’t have kids, we never travel outside the city except to visit you and Dad, we don’t have a mortgage and the monthly condo fees are much less than rent would be on a smaller apartment. I’m living through an economic crisis and married to someone on disability, and we’re two people trying to get by on one-and-a-half incomes.

Intellectually, I know the above to be perfectly true, but I still feel like some upper-class twit in a Victorian novel who, having run out of things to hock, must once again admit to his guardians that he’s boozed and gambled away his quarterly allowance; except if I were a feckless 19th-century nobleman I’d probably feel a lot more brazen, nstead of dreading Mom’s response— even worse, if she doesn’t call or email back within the hour I’m going to have to telephone her. Feeling sick to my stomach.   

Comments

Great Expectations

[palain-7.livejournal.com]

There is much to be said:
- I know exactly how you feel about feeling like a dissolute failure. If not for my friends (including you and Andrew) I'd be dead or, at the very least, living under a bridge. I sometimes feel I'm turning into Max Bialystock and fleecing little old ladies out of their savings. At least I can't suffer having to go to my parents: they're both dead.
- On the other hand I've made sundry sacrifices and saved assorted lives myself too: as have you (see above). I console myself by thinking that it would be terribly selfish to hog all such fun to myself. If you will forgive the observation, I have once or twice suspected you of such selfishness. (I seem to recall a particular incident involving your refusal to allow the deployment of a Ninja Army. ) If one Gives; one must be resigned to Receive.
- As I am of Scottish (or as we would say in the Ontario dialect of the language "Scotch") descent I am often haunted by the phantoms of wasted pennies. They stand at the end of my bed and fix me with gimlet eyes moaning "Yoouuu wasssted meee!". Turn and wriggle on the hook as I may ("The flyer was missing a page!", "It was an in-store special - I didn't know!", "But I was frightened that there would be a weight limit on luggage on the ferry and that they'd toss the suitcase and my little brother over the side!"....) still does it leave a scar upon my soul. As such I offer my services as a Cheapness Consultant (C-squared) in the Present Emergency. A Cheapness Audit and some Pro-tips can cut your fixed expenses by up; to a half! Pro-tip #1: Never buy anything from the middle aisles of the supermarket except for flour. Pro-tip #2: Personally make sure that you check for your eligibility for the "Working Poor Tax Credit" on your Income Tax return every year. (It's on an obscure form but worth several hundred $ cash if you qualify.) Don't be selfish (see above) and miss out on this offer! Send me your expense log!