Ugh

[moon_custafer]

Emailed my mom because I finally admitted to myself I need to ask for money again, the third time in the past decade. Painted out that we don’t own a car, we don’t have kids, we never travel outside the city except to visit you and Dad, we don’t have a mortgage and the monthly condo fees are much less than rent would be on a smaller apartment. I’m living through an economic crisis and married to someone on disability, and we’re two people trying to get by on one-and-a-half incomes.

Intellectually, I know the above to be perfectly true, but I still feel like some upper-class twit in a Victorian novel who, having run out of things to hock, must once again admit to his guardians that he’s boozed and gambled away his quarterly allowance; except if I were a feckless 19th-century nobleman I’d probably feel a lot more brazen, nstead of dreading Mom’s response— even worse, if she doesn’t call or email back within the hour I’m going to have to telephone her. Feeling sick to my stomach.   

Comments

[sabotabby]

It sucks, but it's not like you've been irresponsible with your money. We're all in various levels of crisis here.

[moon_custafer]

I know. It’s probably irrational, but I’m scared they’re going to set some condition like having to get rid of the cats, or at least take back the more recent arrival. People have made “emotional support animal” a punchline, but there’s no way Andrew could cope on his own for twelve hours a day while I’m at work/commuting. He usually has two panic attacks per day as it is.

[sabotabby]

Do they need to know about the cats?

I tend to get by with controlling the amount of information that goes out.

[moon_custafer]

They know we have cats.

[sabotabby]

Hopefully then, they'll understand that you are a whole-ass adult and these circumstances are exceptional ones.

[moon_custafer]

They’re not exceptional, though. Not being able to make ends meet is an ongoing problem, and I don’t know what else I can cut from the budget.

[sovay]

It’s probably irrational, but I’m scared they’re going to set some condition like having to get rid of the cats, or at least take back the more recent arrival.

Have they ever done anything like that before?

[moon_custafer]

No, which is why the fear is probably irrational, but Mom has ways of conveying disapproval without directly saying or doing anything. It’s all tone of voice and breathing patterns.