More Altered TTC Poetry:

[moon_custafer]

Original:
shy wildflower found
peeking out from winter's bed
serendipity
seeing you after so long
a brief collision of joy

Written Vicki Goodfellow Duke for Cyberslam 2003. I much prefer this other poem by Duke; also I think poets should get points automatically deducted for using the word "serendipity."

My version:
Naked wildflower
stretched in winter's dirty bed;
Cold rumpled comfort
wakes the virgin-thin sunshine --
a brief collision of joy.

(Note -- Anyone know the HTML tag for getting the lines to centre?)

Comments

[bareftinthesnow.livejournal.com]

<center>.....</center>

p.s. I clicked through from the knithulhu post.

ttc poem

[(Anonymous)]

I like it. I like both!