I am glad to see that you have been studying the works of MCA sensei of the Beastie Boys ryu and are willing to "Fight For Your Right To Party".
I assure you that to many a reader what you are doing is impossible to do at all - let alone do over an extended period of time. The feeling would be that no one could have the emotional reserves for such things as acting like a human straitjacket for extended periods of time: (cue spooky music) no one *human* that is. But you are no more a Daughter of Eve than I a Son of Adam: we are the Children of Logic, Duty and Honour and so do not falter in our pursuit of any path that these dictate to us. The Spirit of which the humans speak is not what we use to bring order out of chaos nor is its use necessary to us.
However, though we may have practically infinite reserves of Will yet may the Instrumentality which that Will operates on falter. I know from my 9 years of running Toronto's anti-cult efforts and fighting (other) gangsters and corrupt police that, without emotional replenishment the brain (and to some extent the body) just slowly stop responding.
Green Trilobite has these dramatic emotional episodes but (possibly because they serve a cathartic purpose in his mental ecology) he seems to just lose them in some hole in his memory or, I suspect, to Blue or Red Trilobite who were created for this purpose. This must be hard on you as you cannot share the sense of an obstacle overcome together: in some senses you seem to be doing this alone.
I think we can learn from our human cousins in such situations and apply a bit of what they call an "Id". Make yourself a focus of your efforts often enough to keep going for the long term. After all you, as an energetic, functioning person, are just as necessary for Green Trilobite's support as are any of your actions. For example, perhaps there is some service that OHIP covers that would bring some other caregiver into the situation. They wouldn't do the superb job that you do but they would surely do an adequate one. Think of them as a battery backup for use when the main generator has to be down for maintenance. If the main generator is never maintained it eventually blows up and, for the sake of a period of 100% efficiency you end up with 0% later on.
If you would also take a piece of advice from the other Court, I note that when something spins out of the control that we find so necessary and you get distressed you seem to default to an attitude that it is your fault. I myself tend to default to the attitude that it is the fault of some adversary: perhaps the Universe or perhaps that jerk over there. This is, of course, the essential difference between the Seelie and Unseelie Courts despite what some human propogandists might say about their concepts of "Good" and "Evil". However, I see no reason to be limited by our ancestory and I have found that neither default is, once you go back and think about it, necessarily true. It's 50-50 at best and there's more often a mix of the two.
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Date: 2012-08-17 05:48 am (UTC)From:I assure you that to many a reader what you are doing is impossible to do at all - let alone do over an extended period of time. The feeling would be that no one could have the emotional reserves for such things as acting like a human straitjacket for extended periods of time: (cue spooky music) no one *human* that is. But you are no more a Daughter of Eve than I a Son of Adam: we are the Children of Logic, Duty and Honour and so do not falter in our pursuit of any path that these dictate to us. The Spirit of which the humans speak is not what we use to bring order out of chaos nor is its use necessary to us.
However, though we may have practically infinite reserves of Will yet may the Instrumentality which that Will operates on falter. I know from my 9 years of running Toronto's anti-cult efforts and fighting (other) gangsters and corrupt police that, without emotional replenishment the brain (and to some extent the body) just slowly stop responding.
Green Trilobite has these dramatic emotional episodes but (possibly because they serve a cathartic purpose in his mental ecology) he seems to just lose them in some hole in his memory or, I suspect, to Blue or Red Trilobite who were created for this purpose. This must be hard on you as you cannot share the sense of an obstacle overcome together: in some senses you seem to be doing this alone.
I think we can learn from our human cousins in such situations and apply a bit of what they call an "Id". Make yourself a focus of your efforts often enough to keep going for the long term. After all you, as an energetic, functioning person, are just as necessary for Green Trilobite's support as are any of your actions. For example, perhaps there is some service that OHIP covers that would bring some other caregiver into the situation. They wouldn't do the superb job that you do but they would surely do an adequate one. Think of them as a battery backup for use when the main generator has to be down for maintenance. If the main generator is never maintained it eventually blows up and, for the sake of a period of 100% efficiency you end up with 0% later on.
If you would also take a piece of advice from the other Court, I note that when something spins out of the control that we find so necessary and you get distressed you seem to default to an attitude that it is your fault. I myself tend to default to the attitude that it is the fault of some adversary: perhaps the Universe or perhaps that jerk over there. This is, of course, the essential difference between the Seelie and Unseelie Courts despite what some human propogandists might say about their concepts of "Good" and "Evil". However, I see no reason to be limited by our ancestory and I have found that neither default is, once you go back and think about it, necessarily true. It's 50-50 at best and there's more often a mix of the two.