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We can't turn the closed captions off.
Closed caption: SPEAKING LOCAL LANGUAGE.
Solomon Kane is evil, but gets freaked out by some demons and resolves to change his ways, shave his sinister beard and become a man of peace.
Me: Plague! Woot! (pause) Sorry.
Eventually Kane joins up with Pete Postlethwaite and family.
Me: So, for the first 20 minutes this is basically Shane?
green_trilobite: Yep.
This movie is set in that part of the 17th century when Devonshire got taken over by demons led by a guy in a leather mask. Remember that?
SPOILERS AHOY
Kane decides there might be some justifiable exceptions to that man-of-peace thing, but not soon enough to save Postlethwaite and family. However, he does demonstrate his ability to hit two targets at once from a moving horse with 17th-century flintlocks, which suggests he really does have God on his side.
Closed Caption: RAIDERS CHATTERING
Around this time it starts raining and doesn't stop for the rest of the movie.
Crazy Mackenzie Crook is crazy. He's the awesomely crazy vicar of a congregation of ghouls (denomination unknown - crazy MacKenzie Crook seems Non-Conformist, but the building has a fairly high-church, albeit damaged, crucifix).
Fighting, screaming, crucifixions.
Closed Captions: BREATHING HEAVILY.
Kane finds his old father chained up in a dungeon.
Max von Sydow: You're brother's still alive, but he's the evil guy in the mask. Kill me.
Room full of torches and mirrors. Heroine (in a cage): It's a trap!
Kane fights his brother who is on fire, and wins.
Sorcerer (who looks like Grima Wormtongue with writing on his face): I got a balrog! I got a balrog!
Kane shoots him, accurately, with a 17-century flintlock. Everything explodes. Probably the rain stops, too.
Kane: I'm a good guy now, but still an adrenaline junkie, so I shall become a demon-fighter. (He fights the closing credits).
Me: That was... pretty good, actually.
Closed caption: SPEAKING LOCAL LANGUAGE.
Solomon Kane is evil, but gets freaked out by some demons and resolves to change his ways, shave his sinister beard and become a man of peace.
Me: Plague! Woot! (pause) Sorry.
Eventually Kane joins up with Pete Postlethwaite and family.
Me: So, for the first 20 minutes this is basically Shane?
green_trilobite: Yep.
This movie is set in that part of the 17th century when Devonshire got taken over by demons led by a guy in a leather mask. Remember that?
SPOILERS AHOY
Kane decides there might be some justifiable exceptions to that man-of-peace thing, but not soon enough to save Postlethwaite and family. However, he does demonstrate his ability to hit two targets at once from a moving horse with 17th-century flintlocks, which suggests he really does have God on his side.
Closed Caption: RAIDERS CHATTERING
Around this time it starts raining and doesn't stop for the rest of the movie.
Crazy Mackenzie Crook is crazy. He's the awesomely crazy vicar of a congregation of ghouls (denomination unknown - crazy MacKenzie Crook seems Non-Conformist, but the building has a fairly high-church, albeit damaged, crucifix).
Fighting, screaming, crucifixions.
Closed Captions: BREATHING HEAVILY.
Kane finds his old father chained up in a dungeon.
Max von Sydow: You're brother's still alive, but he's the evil guy in the mask. Kill me.
Room full of torches and mirrors. Heroine (in a cage): It's a trap!
Kane fights his brother who is on fire, and wins.
Sorcerer (who looks like Grima Wormtongue with writing on his face): I got a balrog! I got a balrog!
Kane shoots him, accurately, with a 17-century flintlock. Everything explodes. Probably the rain stops, too.
Kane: I'm a good guy now, but still an adrenaline junkie, so I shall become a demon-fighter. (He fights the closing credits).
Me: That was... pretty good, actually.
