moon_custafer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
moon_custafer) wrote2005-07-29 11:34 am
moon_custafer) wrote2005-07-29 11:34 am
More Altered TTC Poetry:
Original:
shy wildflower found
peeking out from winter's bed
serendipity
seeing you after so long
a brief collision of joy
Written Vicki Goodfellow Duke for Cyberslam 2003. I much prefer this other poem by Duke; also I think poets should get points automatically deducted for using the word "serendipity."
My version:
Naked wildflower
stretched in winter's dirty bed;
Cold rumpled comfort
wakes the virgin-thin sunshine --
a brief collision of joy.
(Note -- Anyone know the HTML tag for getting the lines to centre?)
shy wildflower found
peeking out from winter's bed
serendipity
seeing you after so long
a brief collision of joy
Written Vicki Goodfellow Duke for Cyberslam 2003. I much prefer this other poem by Duke; also I think poets should get points automatically deducted for using the word "serendipity."
My version:
Naked wildflower
stretched in winter's dirty bed;
Cold rumpled comfort
wakes the virgin-thin sunshine --
a brief collision of joy.
(Note -- Anyone know the HTML tag for getting the lines to centre?)