I’m picturing you issuing commands from a balcony while wrapped in a freshly-laundered bedsheet toga

A wonderful and very apt metaphor! I'm, in effect, the Toronto Praetor. I do all the dispatching, write the script for the info-mercial (shooting now on hold due to the pandemic), hire and fire people, cut deals with the laundries and so on and so on. There is a map/scheduling app but it's very much a work in progress and we deliberately but me in between it and the drivers as a organic circuit breaker. We eschewed the Uber model of the tyranny and Artificial Stupidity of the Algorithm. A refutation of the Uber-mensch model.